Games Review: Persona 5 Royal

In a year of re-releases, Persona 5 Royal tops the cake with icing, fresh fruit, and whipped cream to entice you back. Let’s be honest. You don’t want to play Persona 5. There’s too many games in your backlog already. Well, if you already played the original, you’ll get free DLC that makes the experience 100x easier and 100x more addictive. And if you haven’t? 

Here are my top 3 reasons for you, the people who don’t care about Persona 5 to play Persona 5….

You Can Go Outdoors 

Especially when COVID-19 keeps us indoors, Persona 5 lets you explore a city you love or discover a new one in startlingly accurate detail. From the subway lines to the laundromat, P5 lets you live the normal life in a time of crisis. Go to the diner. Sing karaoke with friends. Learn to make coffee. Fight some inner demons with your best friends. You know, normal high school stuff. 

Listen to Music

There’s a reason everyone’s at 100+ hours but haven’t finished the original. The music. I can’t tell you the number of times I left my console on overnight, falling asleep hunched over a coffee table, only to wake up and panic not knowing if I’d saved. The battle music is rhythmic and never gets old. The real world music changes with the story. 

Pro-tip: there is actually a secret area dedicated to just listening to its music and watching it’s movies only in this rerelease. 

You Don’t Even Have to Play It

Persona 5 Royal is watching an anime that asks you to hit buttons to progress the story. Set the dialogue to auto, pop some popcorn, and just watch the movie play out. You may have to pick up the controller for awesome combat, or you could set to easy, hit the [Rush] button, and watch that play out too. Player discretion advised as you could die.  

So what’s that? You’re ordering your copy already? Well then, let us start the game. . . 

Disclaimer: This satirical review does not capture the complete and beautiful essence of Persona 5, but demonstrates only how everyone should play it even if you think you’ll don’t like it. Go play it. GO!!